Have you ever felt so sad, that you thought it would never end?
So gripped by worry, that you couldn’t imagine it ever passing?
Such an intense heat in your body, as you became consumed with anger, that it seemed impossible you’d ever feel any other way?
And in those moments, have you told yourself;
So, you then do your best to try NOT to feel these emotions. You distract yourself with work, your to-do list, or Netflix.
You convince yourself you’re ok.
But there’s this tightness. This heaviness. This weight. That follows you around.
Ignoring, suppressing or avoiding any intensely painful, uncomfortable or all-consuming feelings are sure fire ways to make them stay.
If you avoid grieving, you will never stop grieving.
If you push down the anger, it will seep out, or even explode out, in a potentially inappropriate and damaging way to the people you care about.
Resisting rather than accepting emotions will make the heaviness heavier. It will make the weightiness weightier. The tightness tighter. And there will be this mud, this fog that you’re having to wade through, just to do the simple things.
But, whilst it may feel counter intuitive, if you allow yourself to experience the grief, the worry, the anger, knowing that you don’t have to act on those feelings (even if you have an urge to punch someone) and you say to yourself:
“I won’t feel like this forever”
You’ll have a much better chance of moving through and out the other side of any strong emotion.
It’s surprising how much a simple phrase can immediately lessen the intensity of any emotion. Because when you’re in it, when you’re fully engulfed by the emotion, you feel like it will last forever.
But by saying:
“I won’t feel like this forever”
You’re kicking in the rational pre-frontal cortex part of your brain, which in doing so, will start to reduce the activity in the limbic system (the bit that’s involved with your emotions).
The phrase won’t take the emotion away completely. But it will give you a better chance of being able to accept and ride through the pain. As well as start to think a bit more clearly.
Releasing the emotion with loosen the tightness in your body. Reduce the weight. And lighten the load.
Be brave. Face into the feeling. And reassure yourself – you won’t feel like this forever!
Written: Apr 1, 2020
